Are you trying to connect with people through social media?
Do you feel like you are stumbling around trying to make friends on your social media platforms
There are many top influencers that make the point on the importance of connecting with other people through social media platforms like Google+, Facebook, Instagram, Linkin and others. I have recently taken up their challenge.
I have been experimenting. Truly, I’ve been trying to win friends with the hopes of someday influencing more people. While I’ve been doing this, I have also been rereading the classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
My Sophomore Year
In the middle of my sophomore year of high school, my family moved to a different state, and I started a different school. I didn’t know a single person in that high school. One day, I just literally showed up in English class.
Entering into my social media experiment, trying to make friends on social media felt very much the same way that it did back in sophomore year.
Some people invite you to sit with them in the cafeteria right away.
Some people stare you down, sizing you up.
Some simply ignore you.
Mostly though, people are wondering what you have to offer them and in the social media world people are wondering the same thing.
Why Making Friends in Social Media is Important
I’m sure there are a lot of responses to the importance of networking and making friends in social media, but today I’m focusing on one.
Making friends in social media helps to increase your influence.
Not only will “your friends” share your content, they will promote it, they will comment on it, and they will link back to it. All that creates more exposure. More exposure creates more opportunity.
How to Lose Friends when Trying To Influence People
While I could talk about how to win friends; I think sharing 2 ways to lose friends quickly is more important.
From my experiences in making friends in a brand new school in the middle of my high school years, and what I’ve seen in the social media world, I have learned 2 ways to lose friends fast.
2 Ways to Lose Friends Fast
- Criticize ThemThis should be obvious, but still people do it. This tip is a big one in the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Dale Carnegie points to Abraham Lincoln as a great example why we should never criticize.Lincoln’s criticism of someone else lead to a duel. A real duel. Obviously, someone stopped the duel, but Dale writes that Lincoln learned a big lesson that day – Never Criticize.
I don’t just mean negative criticism. I mean constructive criticism, too. Here’s why: any type of criticism brings on resentment.
“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.” – Dale Carnegie
Even constructive criticism will lose you friends. Instead, make friends like Benjamin Franklin did,
“I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody”.
– Benjamin Franklin in How to Win Friends and Influence People
Bragging is a quick way to lose friends, too, especially when it’s a new friend. And, if we are honest, there are a lot of new friends out in social media.Let’s examine two of Dale’s Principles to do instead of talking about yourself.“Become genuinely interested in other people.”
This describes how instead of talking about yourself and your successes, win friends by being interested in the other person.
“Win Friends by Making Others Feel Important.”
Almost everyone we meet thinks of themselves as more superior than us in some way. The way to win them as friends is acknowledging their importance in a subtle and sincere way.
The way to lose friends is by bragging or diminishing their importance.
Bringing It Home
I envy my two and a half-year-old. We’ll be pulling into the park and she’ll say, “I’m going to make new friends today.” For her it’s a matter of asking her new friends if they want to play. For us, it’s a little different.
The important thing to remember, whether we are writing blog articles or making friends, is that it’s about them and not us.
I would love to connect with you and become your social media friend. Let’s take on the social media world together. Connect with me by visiting my Google+ Page.